With your "original belief" of the game, I have to say that people are different and interpret information differently. The second I saw Battalion I saw a chance to go back to the competitive days of MoH:AA/CoD2. Everything about the Kickstarter screamed that at me. I know that other people will see it differently, though. However the Devs have spoken about interaction with ESL dating back to the very early stages of this games development. From this it was clear to me that this game was going to have a competitive focus, whilst allowing other players to cater the game to their needs with custom server options. To me this hasn't changed but I guess it has in some people's eyes.
Now some of my responses to your "What is happening now" points:
1. I understand and sort of see where you're coming from with your comments on nade cooking. However in MoH:AA/CoD2 & CoD4 competitive, nade cooking was either removed or it didn't exist in the first place. In CoD2 and 4 nade cooking was on by default but was modded out with the competitive mods because the competitive scenes felt it the most appropriate thing. A lot of people on here who played competitive in those 3 games are simply used to that being the way of things. Also iirc in CoD2 (and possibly 4? can't remember) you can walk and pull nades silently. This combined with cooking nades provides a scenario where there is no possible counter and in a lot of people's opinions doesn't make for interesting gameplay.
I also think that when Tuna confirmed that the nades won't be cookable in the grenade thread, that is how it will be by default in the game and their competitive ruleset. If they are having a ranked matchmaking system, which they are, they need a standard set of rules that are universally abided by in this mode. Again...on your own custom server you will be able to mod nades to be cookable. Someone will make that mod if it's not in the game. On top of that there is also the possibility of Bulkhead making that a serverside option for your own private server which you can simply toggle with a console command. No guarantee on that one though, I guess. So if you want cookable nades on your server, I see nothing to suggest you won't be able to have them.
2. Quite simply the recoil is random. The game feels/plays like CoD2/4 according to Joe, not CS:GO. There is a post he made somewhere stating that. More specifically here is a snippet below from Joe about the recoil:
So it's not a spray pattern. It's random. Hopefully that puts that fear to bed.
3. I'm not a fan of wildly out of place skins either. Something along the lines of what BF1 has done I would be perfectly happy with. However bright flashy skins that are totally out of place in a WW2 setting I am not for. It's not because I'm all about realism or immersion as I'm really not...simply that it will look ridiculous. Having said that they have confirmed you will be able to turn it off. People who want their neon cosmic alligator M1 garand skin will still be able to see it along with everyone elses. However, an option will allow us to turn everything to default, making it a total non-issue for me.
4. Quite simply I agree with this point and already stated my views in the grenade thread about the way in which some people can't handle differing opinions on top of the poor way some people interact with others, simply because it's on the internet.